


Fast Tracks, Slow Hearts

by WindMeister8



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Car Racing, Car Accidents, F/M, Mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 14:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindMeister8/pseuds/WindMeister8
Summary: Life on the track was always fast.But outside that, everything came to a stand still. Time just stopped ticking.Then... you left.Can answers be found on the race track? And at what price?





	Fast Tracks, Slow Hearts

Even as the morning sun peeked around the corner, the streets were already abuzz with activity. Known as the city that never sleeps, its citizens flooded every nook and cranny. Cars, motorbikes, and trucks of every size weaved through the multitude of roads.  Making her way through the crowd was a slightly tan woman with headphones set firmly on her head, the loud bass sound that blasted from it drowning out the noise from the obnoxious traffic. 

Clutching her satchel with one hand, she looked left and then right before crossing the small intersection. As she went down the stairs towards the lower levels of the city, a glimpse of the ongoing demonstrations in the square ahead caught her attention. Cardboards bearing the signs “Out with the Elevens” and “Elevens Don’t Belong” were waved around as a man stood at the podium, thrusting his fist into the air. It was the fifth day of such demonstrations and still, it showed no sign of stopping.

Her lips set in a grim line as the scene disappeared from her view, replaced by dim street lights in the underground level below the city. There were noticeably fewer people that walked the pavements, owing to the fact that the lower city levels were more dedicated to Elevens than Britannians. 

Heading towards one of the buildings with a posh sign outside that said “Restaurante De Britannia”, she pulled open the big glass doors, letting herself into the bright interior. At the front desk, the single male cashier studied her with a disapproving look, his cold eyes taking in her simple tee and jeans as the corner of his lips turned down in a simper.

“Yes? How may I help you?” he dragged out his words, the irritation in his tone barely masked.

Used to such treatment by Britannians, the woman gestured to the interior with an index finger. “My friend, Suzaku, is waiting for me.”

At the mention of the name of the most popular young car racer in the city, the man’s eyes widened, his lips falling open slightly before closing again. Gulping, he hurriedly plastered a smile on his face, extending an open palm towards the inner dining room. “Ah, he’s at the table near the end, towards the right. Hope you have a pleasant time at De Britannia, ma’am.”

She gave an imperceptible smile, following his directions as she walked further into the restaurant, her sneakers making no sound as they tread on the rich carpet. All the tables were occupied, some by Britannians who gave her the same condescending look, others by Elevens. Those who recognized her flashed a smile, or nodded in greeting.

By the time she reached the back of the long dining hall, her face muscles ached from smiling too much. But upon seeing the man in a leather jacket seated by the window, his left hand cupping his chin as he stared at the view, her heart warmed. The little fluttering feeling in her belly bringing out a sweet grin on her lips. 

“Hey Suzaku.” She gave a little wave of her hand, pulling out the leather-backed chair opposite him as she did.

The brown-haired male looked up, his disinterested expression replaced by a warm, friendly smile. “Oh Shina! I’m sorry I didn’t notice you come in.”

Chuckling, she settled into her seat, swinging the satchel over her shoulders and placing it on the floor beside her chair. “It’s alright. I’m a bit late though, sorry about that. Traffic caught me.”

Suzaku’s light, airy laugh tickled her ears as he shook his head. “The traffic is so crazy these days. I totally get it. Do you want anything to drink or eat?”

“Just coffee will do,” she replied with a smile.

With a click of his fingers, a waiter materialized seemingly out of nowhere, as if he was just waiting for Suzaku to summon him. Such was the life when one’s name was so well-known, despite being an Eleven. She watched the waiter bob his head up and down respectfully before disappearing in a jiffy.

“So…” Suzaku turned back to face her, his mesmerizing green eyes holding her gaze. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while and then you texted me yesterday to meet up.”

Detecting the subtle questioning in his tone, she shifted uncomfortably, her legs uncrossing below the table. Instead of getting to the point, she grabbed at the first thing that came to mind. “I’ve been… better, I guess. The company decided to dock more money out of all Eleven car mechanics’ wages.”

Suzaku’s gentle expression contorted into disgust, his green eyes burning with fury as he leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table. “Haven’t they deducted more than enough already??” he seethed.

She quickly waved her hand in dismissal, a resigned smile on her lips. “It’s really not much more… How have you been?” Changing topics, she hoped to divert his anger away, not wanting him to be in a bad mood when she brought up the main issue she wanted to talk to him about.

He eyed her suspiciously but reluctantly went along with the flow of the conversation. “I’m fine.”

Rubbing his forehead with his hand, he let out a short sigh. “Just tired, I guess. Between dealing with the press and trying to get more investors for the Elevens charity cause, I’m just exhausted. No one wants to put their money into a charity organization when there’s no Britannian involved. It was so much easier with Euphy…”

He trailed off, the name dying on his lips as that distant sheen materialized in his eyes. Absentmindedly, his fingers dug into his forehead, the long unkempt nails leaving an imprint on his skin. Seeing the dirt embedded in Suzaku’s fingernails, Shina gulped down the lump in her throat. This was not the old Suzaku she knew. The one that was full of life and passion, and who always had a smile for everyone, no matter what race they were. 

No. The man sitting in front of her was a shell of his former self. A part of him had died months ago with Euphy, his fiancée. And what was left behind of him was steadily declining. She had tried everything she could think of to bring him back but she felt that his sorrow only deepened with each passing day. Her heart constricted at the thought of his pain, partly because she cared deeply for him… and also because deep inside, she knew. She knew that she could never take the place of Euphy in his heart. And that hurt more.

Her fingers knitting together, she lowered her gaze to the checkered tablecloth, the brown locks of her hair grazing the surface of the table. Maybe her decision was for the better after all. Maybe not seeing Suzaku… was what’s best for her heart.

“Shina?”

She jerked her head back up, meeting Suzaku’s concerned gaze, as she muttered dazedly, “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” His brows creasing, he reached out across the table, enveloping her closed fists in his warm hand.

At his touch, a little flutter of warmth bloomed in her chest but she quickly forced it down. Retracting her hands from his, she placed them in her lap and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Forcing a smile, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I was just… thinking.”

Lifting an eyebrow, Suzaku studied her, his hand returning back to his side. “Are you sure? You haven’t been coming to the charity meetings recently either. Is everything fine?”

Shina inhaled sharply. Now was the time. “I… received a letter from Katashi. He’s having legal issues with his business, what with the new Britannian policy. And umm… he had to seek help from some..” She flickered her blue eyes to the other dining guests before lowering her voice. “..underground Eleven groups."

“But there have been… misunderstandings recently. So he badly needs my help,” she rattled off the words as fast as she could, wanting to get it over with.

The silence that ensued weighed heavily over her and she dared not even look up into his eyes for fear that her body language would betray her emotions. 

“So you’re leaving.” It was a statement more than a question.

“Just… for a couple of months to help Katashi manage his business while he deals with these other issues.”

Suzaku leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked out the window. Feeling sick to the bone, Shina bit her lips as Suzaku’s expression darkened. 

“So..” he started, his voice bitter. “I just told you how much I’m struggling with the charity and you tell me you’re leaving?”

Her eyes widened, her back straightening as she frantically waved her hands. “N-no, I mean… I’ll still be able to help out. I could phone in, do teleconferencing… you know.”

“Yeah you say that but we both know you won’t have much time for it.” He shifted his gaze back to the table, pinching his forehead as he let out a short breath. Looking up at her, he said in a half-pleading tone, “Do you really need to go though?”

Her heart clenched, the desperation in his voice tearing her apart. Her decision was firm, but the loneliness in Suzaku’s eyes was causing it to waver. On one hand, was Suzaku. On the other, her brother, Katashi. The two most important men in her life and no matter which she chose, the other would be hurt.

She nodded slowly, her words heavy with reluctance. “He’s my brother, Suzaku. He needs me.”

“Katashi’s an adult, Shina. He can take care of himself. But you,” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “You need to stop babying him. There are so many people here who need you, who rely on you. Aren’t you being a little selfish?”

His last word delivered a punch to her gut, leaving her breathless for a second. Her eyes widened, lips opening as she sucked in a breath. “Sel-selfish?” 

The word felt foreign as it rolled off her tongue. Of all things, she was accused of being selfish? And by him?

She always prioritized Suzaku above all. When she had first realized that her feelings for him surpassed that of friendship, she had given up on love because she knew that he was happy with Euphy. When Euphy died and Katashi had suggested they move to California, she had opted to stay with Suzaku to help him out, going against her maternal instinct to protect her brother. And now, when she had to leave him, he accused her of… being selfish?

A dozen stinging words were at the tip of her tongue as her eyes glimmered at him in indignance. But as soon as her mouth opened, it all died in her throat upon seeing a mixture of hurt and anger in his expression. She bit her lips, inhaling a deep breath. 

He was lost. This was not what he would normally say, she told herself. 

“Look,” she said calmly. “I’m only going to be gone for a while. I promise, I’ll work on it while I’m awa-“

“I know what you’re doing, Shina.” Cutting her off, Suzaku dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “You’ve been avoiding committee meetings, fundraisers, and so many events. This is just an excuse to get away from all of us, right?”

Her mouth hung open at his tirade. Was this really Suzaku? “W-why would I do that?” 

At her question, he pursed his lips in a tight line. His eyes shifted back to the window, unwilling to look at her. She studied him carefully, internalizing what he said before she replied slowly, “Suzaku… when you said a lot of people need me… did you by any chance… mean yourself?”

His gaze shot back to her, his eyes wide. A slight pink tinting his cheeks, his mouth opened and closed a few times. With bated breath, Shina waited for his answer. Maybe… just maybe… if he said yes…

“N-n-no I mean I need your help for the charity… right?” His lips curved up in a nervous smile, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

The small flicker of hope extinguished, she hung her head, biting back tears. “Right.” She looked back up, holding her emotions at bay as she replied softly, “Anyway, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll still help out with the charity while I’m there and I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

The smile on Suzaku’s face dropped. Sitting back, he folded his arms across his chest, his head bowed. “No it’s fine. You can stay there as long as you want. We’ll be fine here.”

The flatness of his tone alarmed Shina and leaning forward, she pressed, “Are you sure?”

Lifting his head up, a vacant look on his face, he gave a sharp nod. “We’ll be fine.”

Those three words were enough to spear through her heart. Biting her quivering bottom lip, she tore her gaze away from those cold green eyes. The pain in her chest was not subsiding and it took all her energy to stop the tears from flowing out. Just wanting to escape the restaurant, escape Suzaku, she reached down for her bag, gripping the cloth tightly.

Getting up suddenly, she didn’t notice the waiter coming towards them. Her bag hit the tray in his hand, the single cup of coffee flying off and landing with a muted crash on the carpet. She barely felt the scald of the hot brown liquid on her arm, barely heard the waiter as he uttered a frantic apology.

Without directly looking at Suzaku who had gotten up, his hand outreached to help her, she choked out a quick excuse. “Sorry, I need to leave. I’ll… see you…”

The last two words caught in her throat and before he could react, she hurried out of the restaurant, her hand cupped to her mouth. She didn’t hear him call for her nor did she want to. All she wanted to do now was to cry her heart out

Because she had lost him.

 

He had lost her.

First, his best friend, Lelouch. Then, his love, Euphy. Now… his one and only best friend, Shina. 

They were all leaving him. 

His fingers clenching tightly around the steering wheel, he stared straight ahead at the blue race car ahead of him. Shina was the riding mechanic in that car, not his. She had requested for the change the night before and the manager had approved. 

The blue car sped up, leaving him in the dust. Following suit, he depressed the accelerator further, hearing the engine roar louder in response as he gave pursuit. Gritting his teeth as the car came back into view, his mind wandered back to his last meeting with Shina. 

She had been so edgy, so… distant. He knew he hadn’t been the easiest person to be around for the past few months. His mood swings after Euphy’s death were highly volatile but Shina had always been there to help him out of it. Her calm and kind attitude never failed to warm his heart, even when the icy grip of grief encased his soul. Had he failed to notice when she had changed? Was he the one who had driven her away?

“Black wants to overtake.”

Snapping his attention back to the race, he nodded in acknowledgement of his riding mechanic’s warning. He let the black car overtake him, opting to remain at his current speed for a while longer. The opponents in this race were weak since it was merely a warm-up game. So he would save his energy towards the end. The blue car ahead still in his tunnel vision, he let himself mull over Shina’s behavior.

His chest constricted when he thought of how she had left him. The glisten of tears in her eyes, the hiccup in her voice… why was she so sad when it was her decision to discard him after all? After he had answered her coldly, she had been in such a rush to get away from him, to the point of not caring that her skin had been scalded by hot coffee.

Why?

He couldn’t get over it. Especially that one last question. Why had she asked that when the answer was obvious? What had she expected him to say? That he needed her presence beside him?

He gulped. Did he?

His sleek silver car rounded the bend just as the blue car in front lost control, skidding uncontrollably across the track. The sound of screeching tires on the tarmac left his ears ringing, the dust kicked up obscuring the car from his sight. Suzaku’s eyes widened in horror, his heart in his throat. His instinct kicking in, he decelerated, slamming his foot harder on the brake. 

Entering the dusty area, he glimpsed the remnants of the car laying on its top, two of its wheels gone. He guided his slowing vehicle to the side of the track, ignoring the protests from his mechanic to leave it to the track marshalls. The car slowed to a stop and he hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt. Motioning to his mechanic to stay put, he stepped out.

His ears peeled for the sound of the oncoming race cars, he surmised they were far away enough for him to cross. He broke into a run, his green eyes raking across the scene. The sight of twisted metal and burning rubber made him sick to his gut. Then, he caught sight of two bodies lying on the tarmac to his right. His heart thumping furiously in his chest, it drowned out everything else. 

Shina.

An image of the mild, quiet woman flashing through his mind, he swallowed the bile rising in his throat. 

No, she had to be safe. She had to.

Racing towards the bodies, his boots crunching on the gravel, he stopped and bent down upon reaching the first one. With trembling fingers, he hurriedly removed the black helmet, revealing a mop of blonde hair and masculine features. Suzaku recognized him as one of his colleagues, a newbie. He pressed two fingers to the man’s jugular, feeling for a pulse.

Nothing.

A chilling dread coursed through his body. Getting up, he sidestepped the dead man, moving towards the next body… Shina.

She was lying on her side, a trickle of blood pouring down a gash on her exposed neck. His breath caught in his throat, he dropped to his knees, removing the yellow helmet that adorned her head. Brown hair spilled out over her face and he swept them gently aside with his gloved hand. Her eyes were closed, a large welting bruise on her cheek. 

Please don’t die, he pleaded to himself. Please… don’t leave me.

Two fingers pressed to her neck, he held his breath.

Nothing.

Tears springing to his eyes, he lifted her head into his lap. His other hand thumbed her cheek, trying to elicit some reaction in her. His voice coming out in choked sobs, he called her name once, twice…

_Dub._

Feeling her skin moving against his fingers, he stopped his ministrations. He probed deeper into her neck… until he felt a pulse. It was weak but there was something.

_Dub dub._

 

A familiar warmth. Familiar voice.

Suzaku?

No, it couldn’t be. She must be dreaming. Or in heaven. One of the two.

Her dark blue eyes opened a crack, seeing only a blurred outline of a head. She blinked a few times, her vision sharpening to reveal brown curls, a set of teary green eyes…. Suzaku? Her eyes widened in disbelief and her cracked lips parted painfully to speak but no words came out.

“Shina!” She heard him gasp before her head was pressed to his chest. The bruise on her cheek brushed roughly against his leather jacket, eliciting a muffled wince from her. Trying to move her arms, she found she was too weak. So she laid limply in Suzaku’s embrace, feeling him stroke her hair. 

“I’m so-sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Shina,” he said between sobs. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

His chest heaved, his fingers digging into her hair. “You mean so much to me… maybe even more than a friend… but I was scared. I’m still scared.”

Shina felt her heart skip a beat, the warmth that blossomed in her chest easing the dull ache of her body.

Pressing his lips into her matted hair, Suzaku’s tears ran down his cheeks, falling onto the back of her neck. “But I need you, Shina. I can’t l-lose you too.”

A weak smile breaking out across her lips, she felt her own eyes moisten. Maybe she would never replace Euphy… ever. But just the knowledge that she was important to him… maybe that was enough. Maybe that was all she needed.

With all the energy she could muster, she whispered back, “I’ll be with you.”

 

“Always.”


End file.
